Please Understand...
by catgirl26
Summary: Just some thoughts from Vegeta's POV before he leaves Earth to train. Pease read it!


Disclaimer: I do no own Dragonball Z or any of the characters featured in this fic. I'm not making any profit on this, aside from the comments I receive.

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Author's Note: Okay, I just had a sudden inspiration. You see, I was talking to a friend of mine and we were discussing why Vegeta left Bulma when she was pregnant. She was leaning more to the fact that he's a jerk…and well, he is…but I think that there was maybe something more behind his sudden departure.

Another thing, this fic is best if you get really into it while you're reading…Pretend you're Vegeta or something…But just don't scan through it like nothing please…Take a minute to get into a good reading mindset and just let the emotions flow!

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Please Understand…

She sleeps so peacefully, her breasts rising and falling, rhythmically, with each breath she takes. Her hands rest ever so lightly against her belly, full of child…my child. I never imagined myself as a father. I suppose I had always counted on mating one day, but really, I had never actually thought about it. I've always been too busy taking care of myself to worry about anyone else. But now…this child and it's mother…my mate…I've got responsibilities beside myself. 

I've no idea whether I'll be able to raise this child properly, or whether it will turn out to be some horrendous monster…but I intend to try…that is, if I'm still around after the androids come. That boy from the future said that we would all perish. All but his mother and Kakarott's spawn…Gohan. 

What of my child then? My mate as well. Will they die because I cannot protect them? Will I be forced to carry their deaths over my head, their blood on my hands, all because I failed to protect them? This woman…and the life forming inside her…I don't want them to die. I don't want to lose anyone else that I care about…

I know if we die I'll never see her again…She'll go to heaven, like she is meant to. And I'll be sent straight to hell. A soul stained with so much blood as my own would never be admitted to eternal paradise, but rather, I'll suffer in the deepest pits of hell. It would be worth it though…I would gladly condemn myself to eternal sorrow and pain if it meant she could live peacefully.

Kami, help me. I don't want to lose her…

And so I must leave.

The ship I've been training in for the past year and a half is ready for takeoff, just outside the housing compound. It's been fully stocked and ready for months…but I just…I haven't been able to bring myself to leave her. 

I've made my decision though. She told me she was pregnant this morning.

She's been a distraction from my training for a long time now, but this new revelation, it's just too much. I've got to go, clear my mind, and get some peace. I need to become stronger so I can defeat those androids. If I don't, I'll lose her forever…my beautiful little mate and our unborn child. I couldn't bear it…I just…couldn't.

I'll be back for her. I will…I won't let my child grow up as I did, fatherless and alone in a cruel, harsh world. I won't let this planet end up like my own, desolate and barren. Forgotten so quickly after its destruction…I won't allow the androids to destroy my home, to make life such a hell as that boy from the future described. I will not allow it.

I will leave this planet, to train, and I will come back strong. My mate, my child, my…family…for them, I will fight, and I will win. And then I'll finally be able to live in peace with the people I…with the people I love…

Carefully, I brush a lock of stray hair away from her face, my hand lingering on her smooth cheek. In her sleep, she sighs and leans into my palm. A tiny smile alights on her lips as my thumb absently strokes her cheekbone, so soft. So trusting…I won't let her down…not after she's put her faith in me…not after I've put my child in her.

I love her so much it hurts.

She stirs in her sleep and her eyes blink open. She looks at me, sleep hazing her features, and smiles, reaching one hand to mine, the one that still strokes her cheek. "Vegeta…" she sighs happily…but then her face falls as she notices what I'm wearing. "V…Vegeta…" she looks me up and down. "Why…are you…why are you wearing your armor?"

She sits up and her fingers reach toward my chest plate, flinching back as they make contact. We lock gaze…and she knows…she knows I'm leaving and her eyes fill with tears. She sniffles, and she's not afraid to let me see her face streaked with the salty droplets.

"I'm leaving." I say quietly, my hand grasping hers lightly. With my other hand, I wipe the tears from her face, as gentle as I can be.

"Why?" she whispers, crawling toward me as I let go of her and stand up. "Why Vegeta? Is it because…because I'm pregnant?" One of her hands goes protectively to her stomach where the cells are still forming. It will be a while before she shows outward signs of the child. It saddens me to think that I won't be here for the birth.

"Yes." I say, turning my back to her. I don't want her to see the tears in my eyes, threatening to fall. I won't be able to hold them back much longer. "I'm leaving because you're pregnant." 

"Don't go…" she begs, sobbing. "Please Vegeta…don't go…don't leave me alone." Her body shudders and clings to my hand. She wails desperately as I shake her off, leaving her there, still sobbing, as I walk out of the room, shutting the door behind me.

Please understand…I'm leaving because I have to…I need to go away from here, to train without distractions…to become strong. I won't let you down ever again, Bulma. I promise…when I get back, I'll defeat the androids so we can raise our child in a peaceful world…and I'll never leave you again. 

Please understand…

Kami, help me…I love you so much it hurts…

*sniffle* I'm actually crying…damn it…I don't know, maybe it's just me, because I got really into the fic as I was writing it but damn…I'm sad now.


End file.
